Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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