its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
