He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
