you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
