I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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