Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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