Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize