im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
