Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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