in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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