My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
