bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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