And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
