Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
