We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
