we're blogging at a bar
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
