Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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