We won't sleep together?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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