I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize