You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you traded sex for a burrito?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize