i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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