I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
