Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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