thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
