dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
