dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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