I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
