Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
