We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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