why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
