It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
