Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
