I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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