you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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