i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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