none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She announced her abortion via fbk
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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