I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
