Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
