Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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