my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Terrible idea I love it
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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