Pappa wants mamma naked
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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