I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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