He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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