THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Shame - the story of my life.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
