dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
