She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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