he told me I talked like a deaf person
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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