i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
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