Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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