She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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