Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Alive.
So much puke
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Drake has all the answers
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
