My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
