We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
