i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
