so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
