Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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