Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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