I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
