this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize