Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
