why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
