There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I enjoy the company of your penis
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
