Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
