she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
