I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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