Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How does it feel to date your dad?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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