Whod you bang
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
