I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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