I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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